btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
