Sponge bath it is.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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