remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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