Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
