One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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