Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
