her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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