Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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