Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
