My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
