Christians are straight up FREAKS
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
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