Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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