just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We have started to decorate penises.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
