Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The Olympian is in my bed
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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