David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize