Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
