She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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