Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize