Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.

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(905): View more from Toronto

Cure to hiccups..road head..high five

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(310): View more from California

He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.

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(206): View more from Washington

Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.

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(347): View more from New York

i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had

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(917): View more from New York City

You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.

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(801): View more from Utah

Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.

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(989): View more from Michigan

8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.

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