also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Randomize
