Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
