i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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