that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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