I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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