can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
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