she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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