Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
