I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
