ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Randomize
