God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
