i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Randomize