She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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