i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
