trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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