oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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