What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize