What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
