The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
