I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize