Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
