i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
