Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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