I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize