TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize