I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
this is an emotional support booty call
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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