Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
