your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
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