And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
