honey bunches of taint.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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