yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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