Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
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