i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
