As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
