did you get engaged???
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
