Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
So much rum. So many feels.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
