I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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