Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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