These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
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