I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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