he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize