Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
