marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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