The best revenge is premature balding
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
