i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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