Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
