i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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