just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
My dick has a subreddit
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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