David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
