How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
