How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize