he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize