hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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