Define "chronic" masturbator.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
