That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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