Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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