The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
