he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize