Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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