Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
