I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize