At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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