I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
