I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
